After a break from Married to Drugs, Dr. Contessa Metcalfe returned for all of the loopy shenanigans that went down in season 11. With the season finale about to drop this weekend, EBONY sat down with the entrepreneur, spouse and mother to be taught what she’s taking away from her return and what she’s wanting ahead to subsequent.
EBONY: You left in season 9. How did it really feel to be again?
Dr. Contessa Metcalfe: It felt superb. It was nice coming again. I really feel like I dodged a bullet in Season 10 as a result of I didn’t should attempt to perceive how it will make sense for Tee to return into the group together with her ex-husband there. It was simply loopy. It’s simply been a lot enjoyable being again. It’s sort of like using a motorcycle. These are a few of my true associates…I see them even once we’re not on digicam. The one distinction is typically there’s a digicam round now. It’s simply been a fantastic alternative for me to return again once more and discover my place within the new establishment of the group.
Going again into it, did you are feeling like there have been any unfastened ends you wanted to tie up, or have been you open to new experiences?
Fully open to new experiences. I believe that’s what life is all about. I actually wanted to spend some extra time specializing in my household. I used to be in a position to do some enjoyable issues: I recorded three motion pictures. We have been in a position to purchase a constructing. It was a very good 12 months for us to essentially set down some targets and achieve them. As a lot as you begin sort of taking without any consideration, you may steadiness every part.
As we inch in the direction of the season finale, do you are feeling such as you’ve achieved the issues that you simply’ve got down to do?
The factor that I hoped to do was carry just a little bit extra cohesiveness to the group. It simply appeared like all people was being imply to one another: Quad by herself, after which there was Fedra and Alicia, and it simply appeared like all people was so disjointed. I really feel like I used to be frequent floor. Proper. I’m all people’s good friend. I attempt to be anyway. I do know I don’t at all times do it. I’m not at all times profitable, however I attempt to be the sunshine.
Do you are feeling such as you’re prepared for that everlasting return in season 12?
I’d say so long as there’s no person else who has extra attention-grabbing story than me. I believe individuals are at all times considering, all people at all times desires to be just like the star. I believe generally it’s okay to be the supporting forged member, proper? Yeah. I’m superb with simply no matter function I might be in. I would like all my associates to be okay. I don’t suppose there’s any additional energy to only me at all times being the one that’s getting all the eye.
Typically should you’re doing good in life, you may assist your mates or your loved ones members accomplish their targets, proper? And in the end to me, that’s a much bigger affect. And so, if I can assist my associates and be there for them too, once they want it, ’trigger they obtained extra stuff occurring, or they obtained extra craziness of their life, and I’m simply balanced proper now, I’m superb with that.
It’s so good to see Black ladies like your self in such excessive locations.
I’m Georgia Chair of the American Diabetes Affiliation. How loopy cool is that?
Are you able to converse just a little bit concerning the journey and what pushes you to consistently set such excessive targets? You’re thrice board licensed?
And I’m engaged on my fourth one; I used to be going to take a seat for my weight problems and my habit boards on the identical time. However I used to be like, ‘Okay, that’s simply loopy, proper as a result of the exams are actually days aside.’ However what I’m saying is I, I take into consideration the place I got here from, going again to my childhood, proper? The sacrifices my mother made. My mother was a teen mother. She had my sister when she was 15-years-old.
My dad had a substance use dysfunction. And so, I simply should not take my dad and mom’ sacrifices without any consideration. They labored arduous to get us the perfect alternatives and simply converse life into us. In case you take that without any consideration, their sacrifices, you simply piss on ’em. My dad wished to be a pharmacist. My mother wished to be a nurse. And so, I’m a health care provider. My brother’s an legal professional. We’re in a position to reside that manifestation of what they couldn’t as a result of it simply wasn’t the identical time, they usually didn’t have the identical alternatives. That’s my motivation. And I obtained three little youngsters, six eyes watching me, on a regular basis.
You apply preventive drugs. Are you able to give us a number of the strategies that you simply use in your individual life?
I’m a giant tracker and a journaler, setting targets and accountability. Even with my sufferers, I inform them about these journals that I preserve as a result of I name it “the Bible of me,” proper? If my ldl cholesterol is just a little bit elevated, I’ve to then eat eight to 14 servings of vegetables and fruit. Then I examine six months later and see if these adjustments I made led to a optimistic change in my numbers. And so I can say to my sufferers, ‘Hey, you do that, and this may work. You’re desirous about the large image,’ I say time and again, and I wanna reside to 114.
Out of your perspective, what does your love appear like with Dr. Scott? What does that sort of partnership really feel like?
I want you could possibly see this idiot, he over right here dancing and like doing like this. While you noticed us struggling, we stopped having enjoyable in our relationship. It simply grew to become about enterprise: who’s choosing the children up? What time do you get off? What time I gotta go in, you gonna take ’em to highschool at present? So once more, we began being extra whimsical and playful and saying once more, even when it’s foolish, what do you wanna accomplish? What do you wanna do? He began to make music, proper? I at all times be like, “So my husband wanna be a rapper.”
Simply since you grow old doesn’t imply you don’t have these goals anymore. He needed to develop sort of fast, too. He’s the youngest of 10 youngsters and has 5 brothers. And so it’s the expectation once more—while you’re involved about meals and shelter and the fundamental stuff, you don’t have time to concentrate on whether or not you wanna learn to play the piano or the harp, you don’t get to discover fantastical, whimsical issues. It actually ought to be about experiences and high quality time and creating ability units that you simply wish to – for private wellness and for enjoyable.
What would you say are the important thing issues while you’re looking for a accomplice as sturdy as yours?
Primary, transparency is freedom. Individuals suppose on a regular basis it’s about preserving secrets and techniques and never telling your stuff. I believe when you begin letting go of that perception that perfection isn’t what I’m aspiring for ’trigger perfection is a lie. The messier your life is, the messier your story, the extra individuals can establish with it. And so being afraid of being susceptible might be the most important mistake that anyone will ever have as a result of then individuals don’t actually get to know who you actually are.
Don’t be masked in that cloak of making an attempt to achieve perfection as a result of no person believes that anyway. While you present that you simply’re just a little bit flawed, then somebody might be extra comfy saying, ‘Effectively shoot, that’s one thing I’m involved about.”
For these which might be single or which might be newly single, as a result of I’ve sadly lots of associates who’ve gone by means of divorces, and now they’re newly single of their forties and fifties and are relationship once more. They’re nearly again to this place of “I don’t want nothing. I don’t need nothing.” Effectively, what you do need is companionship and friendship.
In case you met like a brand new girlfriend, what would you say and do? You’ll simply method it with lightness, and let’s simply have some enjoyable. Similar factor. Let’s simply have some enjoyable for one or two days, that turns into 4 or 5. And also you’ll discover that one who you wanna spend increasingly time with. Not as a result of it’s a must to, since you are lonely, however since you actually take pleasure in their firm.
What season of your life, of your life are you in, or are you getting into? What can we stay up for subsequent?
Effectively, I believe I’m in “bare woman season.” Perhaps it’s perimenopause or one thing: I be scorching, so garments be scorching. I grew up Apostolic. I don’t know if individuals know what that’s, however very, very spiritual. So I didn’t even, my mama didn’t even put on pants for actual. Like actually conservative. I bear in mind once I did that health competitors, that was my first time actually carrying a bikini. So, now I’m sort of on this place of loving my sexiness in my physique and making an attempt new vogue developments, carrying my stomach out though I’m 48. That’s the place I’m proper now. I’m simply making an attempt to have some enjoyable, simply be mild and never take myself too significantly.
Anything you wish to share?
I used to be Miss Xavier College, so I used to be in EBONY earlier than, and once I inform you that was the spotlight of my life—so thanks a lot for having me. I like EBONY. My mama talked about that ceaselessly.
The Married to Drugs finale airs on February 23, 2025, on Bravo.
